I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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