Nicole vs. Life
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
As shirtless as possible
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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