i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
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