Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
