i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Randomize
