Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Randomize
