Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Two words: nipple clamps
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
