I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
