i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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