yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Randomize
