Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
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