her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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