Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
