We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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