College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
