found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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