Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize