he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
