Duck Duck Cougar?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
