8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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