Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize