ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
