What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I lost the right to judge tonight
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
