It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
