oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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