I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Randomize
