Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize
