I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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