At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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