Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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