Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
