Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
