Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
