why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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