Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Randomize
