just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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