jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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