Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
