Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
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