brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
