What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I supernannyed him into submission
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize