dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
