its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
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