I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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