census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
