Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So much Jack, so little girl.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
