Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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