How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
