party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
