Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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