Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
i think my cat just said my name.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
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