I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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