i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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