from now on my penis is your penis
My cat gives me a boner
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize