remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
