Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
