She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
