Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
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