Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
