like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
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