i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
